August 7, 2009 at 4:48 PM (Life, Rants)
when you take a look at blogsecret on tumblr or even postsecret, you’ll notice a lot of them are from being burnt by love. for something that is supposedly so pure and special, it sure messes people up a lot. you could even say that sometimes it stops people from living, literally or not. it’s amazing how this world and this life works, i can’t even begin to fathom it.
for most part, i find it scary to be alive. it’s challenging to go through the entire motion and sometimes it’s just a lot easier to call it quits. not saying that i wanna die now of course..
there you go, this is my deep and (sort of) meaningful post for the month.
on the bimbo side, wtf can’t i lose weight like before?!?
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August 4, 2009 at 4:25 PM (Family, Life, Photos)
it’s been a while since i last updated here. i’ve got nothing to show but a bunch of photos from here and there.
Marley’s family
Marley
Marley & Jerry falling asleep…
Marley laying on Bob while watching tv…
several days ago, my family and i had a roadtrip back to my mum’s hometown. i swear, it’s located pretty much in the middle of nowhere. i actually used to resent going on those kind of trips, because it’s pretty much an off road adventure just to get there and places like that just don’t hold any interest to an impatient 13 yr old. now that i’m a 21yr old (fck, i’m old!), it’s a different experience entirely. it’s a place entirely left behind by time, as if time stoodstill at a certain year and things just remained the same ever since. being there just makes me feel like i’m closer to my roots (although i’m bruneian) and it makes me feel this sense of belonging eventhough it wasn’t me who grew up in those jungles. mummy and her siblings started sharing with us and showing us what they used to do there and i couldn’t help but feel that their generation got more out of life than our generation ever did. our childhood was spent in front of the computer while they were out hunting, sawing down trees, swimming across the river back and forth, building bridges and etc. those kind of experiences, people now actually have to pay to get them while at their time, it was just the way of life. it was interesting and definitely an eye opener.
the toilet was a shack in the river. talk about organic toilet!
daddy watching my uncle fish..
my mama’s shop while she was a teenager!
baby brother, mummy and daddy all watching the fishing action!
while typing out this post, i realise my english has been deteriorated so badly, that i’m ashamed of myself. i couldn’t even form a proper sentence without broken english. the worst thing is that i’ve been speaking english the whole time i’ve been back, so what the hell is wrong with my linguistic skills?!?!
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July 26, 2009 at 5:53 PM (Life)
apparently, i have gotten so tanned over the past few weeks that my grandfather does not recognise me at all. uh oh!
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July 16, 2009 at 4:32 PM (Life, Rants)
okay. i would update more regularly had i more interesting things to talk about… but all i can talk about is Marley (the new pup) of which, i’m already flooding twitter with all the updates about her. personally, that’s what my life is about right now. my money and everything is tied up because of her, simply because my mom refuses to pay for my own pet. awesome huh? responsibility sucks, i never wanna grow up. selfish, i know but i never said i wasn’t.
i have to admit there are times that i feel like i have a lot to say but i’m always at a loss for words. maybe as i grow older, my mind gradually dies off or something because now i have to actually think really hard to function normally. i find myself going through day to day life without using my brain very much and it used to be okay, but now because of old age or some brain disease, i constantly get into trouble because i do stupid things without thinking. i find that i go through too much bimbo moments and talk about bimbo things a lot more now that sometimes i feel like i’m not ‘juan’ anymore. not that i know what the old me used to talk about but i’m sure it wasn’t as shallow as now….?!?!
i obviously don’t make sense. i’m tired. i’m lazy. i don’t wanna go back to uni. i don’t wanna study anymore. i want to be someone else. i want to stop trying. i wish you’d stop pretending. i want to stop hating you. i wish i could forgive and forget easily. i want everyone to stop being so fake. i wish i wasn’t fake too. i want to stop spending so much money. sometimes i don’t wanna be a girl because sometimes it’s tiring being caught up in all the WANTS (bags, shoes, sneakers, new car, gadgets, clothes, stuffed monkeys, pretty stuff….etc). i wish everyone could stop telling me how fat i’ve become. i wish i could tell everyone that i’m comfortable being fat as long as it’s reasonable. all of them impossible wants and wishes! haih! lifeeeeeee……….
love and peace ♥
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July 12, 2009 at 4:25 PM (Photos)
i’m in love. this time i’m really sure of it. it was definitely love at first sight. meet my little kopi that i rescued from the beach. CUTE LEH? MY FATTIE! :D
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July 7, 2009 at 11:17 AM (Life, Photos)
it’s been a while but i can’t believe that i have said goodbye to this room. it wasn’t the biggest room in the world but it was as cosy as i could make it and it was my very own lil green corner. goodbye my lil jungle room!
yeah i know this post is random but i honestly have nothing better to post about. i am absolutely intimidated by some of the other blogs i’ve read. they sound so eloquent that i actually enjoy reading them simply because they write so well. i am awed.
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July 1, 2009 at 3:07 PM (Life)
HELLO KIDS.
I AM BACK IN BRUNEI, WELL FED AND FAT. if i were a cow, now would be the perfect time to slaughter me because i’m tender and fat (in human language, flabby and fat)! Kuching and Sibu are awesome! J’s parents & relatives were awesome too because they pretty much brought us to every locally known good food there was, or at least as much as time allowed. :D
I AM SUCH A HAPPY KID. :D
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June 23, 2009 at 11:09 AM (Rants)
did i mention that i went all the way to the beautiful greek islands without my camera? i’m an epic failure with photos.
did i mention that as i was clearing the sand from my bag on the balcony, i accidentally dropped my ipod down the balcony? despite being just only on the first floor, the ipod and the ground floor made sweet love with a really loud whack? i’m an epic failure with my absent-mindedness.
did i mention that i am going on another holiday tomorrow for a week and i still haven’t packed despite having to go over to J’s place tonight because we’re leaving super early tomorrow? i’m an epic failure with self discipline.
i wish i was in a perfect world, living a perfect life with perfect everything because i’m curious what else can go wrong when everything’s so perfect?
hehehehe… so no photos of the wonderful island of Zakynthos for now until the two guys send me some. i’ll be gone for a week. don’t miss me too much. i gotta go. it’s time to fart. :)
oh PS. i’m an epic failure in shopping. i have many bags, many shoes, many watches but never have anything to wear because i never buy any clothes (because i dont know what to buy) and i’m still wearing the same clothes i’ve been wearing since secondary school. it annoys the hell out of me when i see everyone’s facebook photo looking all nice with better fashion sense, better made up face and better poses since secondary school. what the hell happened to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? i’m stuck in a time warp where i dont grow out of form 5! !@#$%^&*
i need to go on the Style Network for a makeover, dressover and personality change. :D ok la. i really need to go. really need to fart.
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June 22, 2009 at 6:07 AM (Life)
I AM BACK IN BRUNEI SOIL!
it hasn’t sunk in yet that i’m already back in brunei on my summer holiday because it hasn’t hit me yet that my second year in manchester has come to an end. it flew by too quickly for my liking but hey i’m not complaining. it took me about 2 minutes to walk into my new room and mess it all up so it’s a definite sign that brunei-juan is back (i’m a obsessed neat freak in manchester) ;P it also hasn’t sunk in that i’ve turned 21. i feel like i did when i turned 18 so who’s counting the numbers, let’s just accept that i am still 18. :P many people question my motive in spending my birthday on the plane but to be honest there wasn’t anything too different spending it up in the air or down on the ground. perhaps it was because i was too sleepy and tired to be bothered with anything else but sleep.
it was certainly a quiet way to ring in my twentyfirst eighteenth birthday but it felt right because i simply refuse to acknowledge my real age because i feel that i am not mature enough to represent that age group yet. okay la, i have to admit the best thing about birthdays is the birthday greetings you get especially from those people you rarely keep in touch with and it’s nice to know that they bothered sending you a text or etc when you yourself didnt even bother to AND of course, the birthday presents you get! you never grow too old to receive presents!
Bazillion hugs and kisses to J for getting me such a gorgeous bag. i am so obviously bragging about this but hey, give me a break, it’s the first time i’m the proud owner of something as beautiful as this and to further increase my ego, i got the limited edition colour too! :D :D :D i left my camera cable back in manchester so i cant really take a photo of the bag or the giant monkey present; so i shall use the photos from here but that’s not the actual colour of MINE. :D
BEAUTIFUL HUH? (i know most of you may not agree but WHO ASK YOU!? )
haiya. i got a strange feeling after this kambang post… i’m going to get struck by lightning. i swear karma is a bitch when you’re in my shoes.
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June 13, 2009 at 11:10 AM (Friends & So on..., Life)
i’m in newcastle right now, spending precious packing time on the computer typing this while i really should be helping J do the dishes and etc. i’m starting to get excited because….
WE ARE GOING TO GREECE TOMORROW!
i don’t have any exact idea of where we’re going because the details were handled by the guys, i’m going to be packed into the luggage while they smuggle me onboard the plane so yeah.. it’s going to be a REAL adventure for me. i don’t really know what’s in store for me over the next few days but let’s hope it’s filled with nice, sandy beaches and hunky men including *cough* the present company of course. i’m excited that summer is here. let’s hope this summer’s turns out well! :D can you imagine almost 3 months of no work and no study?
HAPPY SUMMER TO EVERYONE! :D
this is where we’re going :D
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